Worst Fear?

I’ve seen heaven

And hell too

They both exist

On earth

Just like you do

Ek Garam Chai ki Pyaali

Bachpan se hi mere liye ek cup chai ka matlab sirf ek cup chai se nahi tha. Usse kuch bohot badhkar tha. Kyunki chai ki har pyaali mein chupa hota tha Ma ka pyaar aur Papa ka dulaar. Thodi thandi hote hote usme bhaiya ki meethi takraar bhi simat jaati thi.

Aaj mai un sab se duur “apne” ghar mein hu. Par yahan bhi apnepan ka ehsaas to ek cup chai se hi milta hai – jo roz subah uthte hi pati apne haath se banakar pilaata hai. Aur aapko ek mazze ki baat batau? Usko khud chai pasand nahi hai.

I promise

The thing about promises is that you can

Make them, break them, hold them and steal them

They can be pulled in any and every direction

And yet

The promise of a promise

Is the sweetest hope

And on some days

A promise of tomorrow

Is what keeps us going

How to love 101

Let me voice an unpopular opinion today. Believe it, if you will. Love doesn’t happen to you nor do you fall in it. No. Love is something that you find when you go looking – for it, for yourself, for a reason, or for simply a way to live. Love is something that you learn and lean into. Learn the person before you, unravel their layers, recognise every nuance, accept the idiosyncrasies. Lean into the feeling of having your heart flutter and calm down simultaneously once it’s accepted someone as its own. You love, willingly and consciously, with everything. Because, you don’t love because, you love despite. Despite everything that could go wrong, despite all the odds stacked against, despite the fleeting moment that is this life on earth. Because love is what your soul is made of. And it will always find its way.

Reality Check

June has always been a little bit of a conundrum for me. It brings with it the promise of a vacation under sunny skies, but with a pang of fear for leaving everything behind. Just like the washed away sand on the beaches I like to visit.

June marks the middle of another year and I can never tell if I’ve done just enough to be able to relax now and justify it as a good year, or if I’m just getting started.

June has a way of breaking past all the barriers I’ve constructed and ridding me of all disillusions. For June always is what it is, and never what it ought to be.

A Prayer for a Happy Day

And repeat after me –

Today I will not let my anxiety get the better of me

Today, my imposter syndrome will just have to go haunt someone else

Today, I’d live not like it’s my last but like I have so many more left to live – carefree and mindlessly

Today, I’ll step out of my comfort zone and promptly step back in if I don’t like it, after all Rome wasn’t built in a day

Today, I’ll go easy on me and enjoy the day just being

A Day in the Life of

That feeling of a song getting stuck in your head on loop

That unbeatable joy of the first sip of coffee ahead of a long and arduous journey

That passing of smiles and knowing nods between colleagues who’re more than just that

The snoring of your partner that’s annoying yet comforting

The routine, the randomness, the rigour, the nostalgia

There’s a little bit of everything packed into a normal day

And would we even want to have it any other way?

Shedding the Herd

In an era of remixes and jazzing it up, of all bang and no buck, of noise and frills, of pompousness and show, there’s some amount of courage that goes into being able to cherish the simple things. Unequivocally and unapologetically. How thrilling it must be to be able to embrace what you like. How cathartic, truly, is knowing what makes your heart sing. How freeing, to not bowing before pressure. How lovely and how fine. How human and how alive.

I step out and it’s April

April for me is a month of uncertainty. The weather’s oscillation between hot and cold keeps me up more than half the night. The sun is warm and the breeze is pleasant. The days are equal parts energising and draining. But when I step out and notice how blue the blue of the skies is, how green the green of the leaves is and how brightly coloured is all of nature, I realise the true splendour of April. It blooms and nurtures. It revitalises and nourishes. April is Mama Earth’s way of readying us for a beautiful year ahead.

Purani Jeans

You remind me of an old pair of jeans

Slightly worn

Very much faded

Snugly fitting through the various sizes I’ve been over the years

Comfortable, familiar, a go-to when I couldn’t care less

A top or a tee

With flats or heels

Flexible through all my choices

A constant echo through all my voices

You remind me of a pair of old jeans

My favourite pair

For non-English speakers, the word “Purani” in the title means “old” in Hindi. There’s a popular song in India which never fails to fill us all with nostalgia and yearning for the simpler days of our childhood. Of friends made and hearts broken. Of memories and happiness. Do give it a listen on the link below, if you like.