It’s a little confusing and a whole lot scary
This thing that we call life
There’s no magic wand swished by a fairy
To end my internal strife
I am young and yet weary
Excited yet wary
Confounded, clueless and naive
Isn’t it altogether really eerie
And at times mindnumbingly dreary
This thing that we call life?
The best laid plans
Have an uncanny knack
Of somehow going awry
Right at the edge of the finish line
The trophy glistening within your sight
It’s a losing gamble, yes
This thing ominously called life
For as long as we’re living
We’re fighting a losing fight
Struggling to keep up every second
Playing against the odds
And when we die
It’s all completely lost
The numerous battles and the larger war
Because God
Oh, He doesn’t just play dice
He plays dice with Rubik’s cubes
(The last lines belong to Robin, who’s recent piece was an inspiration for this post. Please do check out his blog, it’s quite intriguing!)
Ups and downs
Highs and lows
Days and nights
All merge into one
Work and leisure
Pain and pleasure
Have all ended up acquiring
The same corporeal form
Latent talents
Open laziness
Bouts of momentum
Spells of inertia
Privileged to be loved and safe
Heartbroken for the rest
No end seems to be in sight
What will be this century’s respite
Holding on for dear life
Happy to be alive
Happy to be alive?
Dear Diary,
Today was an eventful day. Not in a way where a lot of things happened. But each one was more and more overwhelming.
A few hours in, and I couldn’t breathe. I was tired of running around in circles, trying to get everything done in time but getting nowhere. I forgot to take a breath! Or a break. I skipped lunch, as usual.
Then just when I had all but given up, staring blankly outside the window, the skies opened up and smiled. Have I ever told you about the magic of out-of-season rains?
They’re like little bursts of happiness, unexpected yet plenty. They are instant mood uplifters. You cannot help but smile as the first drop makes its way to the tip of your nose with a splat. They wash off all the grime, outside and within, and make you look at things anew.
The trees, the birds, the dogs and cats, all rejoice. And so, did I. I turned off my laptop, set aside my notebook, put my phone on silent and took a deep breath. I sat in silence with closed eyes, listening to the pitter patter and the thundering and rumbling outside.
And finally, I smiled. Because I decided to forgive myself today. I decided to apologize to myself today. I decided to love myself a little more today. So that I never forget to breathe again. So that I never forget it’ll all be okay in the end. So that I never forget to not always push myself too hard. So that I, can be just I..at times. So that the next time the magic of out-of-season rains find me, I’d be ready to welcome it with open arms.
You don’t always have to run marathons
You just have to live longer
Live better
Live happier
And healthier
So hop, skip, jump and dance away
And don’t you even dare compare
Your lot with that of another
Be your own foremost lover
Somewhere out there
Someday
When we least expect it
We’d find truth
And realise
It’s neither dark nor does it shine
Instead, it is sublime
It’s neither a fact
Nor a notion
It’s never static
Nor in motion
It travels in no single, straight line
Truth is simply a measure of time
The distance between your heart and mine
I’m not good friends with the mirror on my wall
But I sometimes stop to stare through glass windows
Looking from outside in
Warm strangers wrapped up in their own cocoons of conversation
Raindrops trickling down
Baristas hiding their harrowed day behind plastered smiles and cordial hellos
Children running around
On a sugar high
The bitter sweet aroma of coffee cutting through the dense air
I’m not okay with the fad of gymming
But I sometimes take long hikes
Up a meandering trail
Through woody terrains
And green foliage
Pausing to let a small animal cross the path
Or hurrying to give a squirrel some chase
Till I reach a sudden clearing
Where, upon resting, I feel a sense of belonging
Where solitude does not invoke questions
But is the most sacred of traditions
I’m no fan of navigations apps
I sometimes prefer to stop at corners
And ask directions from vendors along the way
I don’t mind getting lost at times
Or even late
For the journey is almost always more fulfilling than the destination
The path strewn with a myriad adventures
They ask me how I am how I am
They ask me if I ever tire out
They ask me if I’d ever comply
And make a complete turnabout
And I get so confused
Wondering why
They’d ask something so obvious
Because
I’m just another girl, like no other girl.
The nature of life is such that it goes on. Moments, people, places and things may get left behind but we, we still move on. A path forged with pain and troubles is our lot. Yet we snatch moments of joy along the way, more often than not. Our complaints of today, seem like trifles tomorrow. People unknown today may become soul mates tomorrow. We could travel to the ends of the world, thinking of a land before time and still be unable to find ourselves, despite not really being lost. Yet, sometimes, a lazy day at home in your softest pyjamas, off the grid, may become the awakening you’d never even hoped for.
Because
If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.
Innocence silently watches
The comings and goings of time
Head hung low
Eyes averted
And tongue tied
It makes for a pitiful picture
As we leave its hand
To run far ahead
Plundering everything in our wake
And on the day of reckoning
When we take a breath to see
What we made of our destiny
Trying to make sense
Of where it all got torn to shreds
Fear rising up inside us like bile
As we are shoved ahead to pay the price
With hellfire dancing in its eyes
And a sly smile on its ravaged face
Innocence silently watches
Days roll into nights
Like one endless quagmire
Every moment seems fleeting and ephemeral
Yet time feels to be standing still
Dreams appear no different than waking hours
Nightmares more so
The mind is dwelling on an astral plane
The body, functioning on auto pilot
And the most frightening thought of all
Is that none of it matters
Is this indifference
Or giving up on life
Or really
A higher form of nirvana?
Heavy questions that could weigh down one’s conscience
But I no longer seem to care.
