Diary Entry #2 : Self Love

Dear Diary,

Today was an eventful day. Not in a way where a lot of things happened. But each one was more and more overwhelming.

A few hours in, and I couldn’t breathe. I was tired of running around in circles, trying to get everything done in time but getting nowhere. I forgot to take a breath! Or a break. I skipped lunch, as usual.

Then just when I had all but given up, staring blankly outside the window, the skies opened up and smiled. Have I ever told you about the magic of out-of-season rains?

They’re like little bursts of happiness, unexpected yet plenty. They are instant mood uplifters. You cannot help but smile as the first drop makes its way to the tip of your nose with a splat. They wash off all the grime, outside and within, and make you look at things anew.

The trees, the birds, the dogs and cats, all rejoice. And so, did I. I turned off my laptop, set aside my notebook, put my phone on silent and took a deep breath. I sat in silence with closed eyes, listening to the pitter patter and the thundering and rumbling outside.

And finally, I smiled. Because I decided to forgive myself today. I decided to apologize to myself today. I decided to love myself a little more today. So that I never forget to breathe again. So that I never forget it’ll all be okay in the end. So that I never forget to not always push myself too hard. So that I, can be just I..at times. So that the next time the magic of out-of-season rains find me, I’d be ready to welcome it with open arms.

Self Care Manual for Dummies Like Me

  1. Sleep early and sleep enough. Every night, for instance.

  2. Being bored is not equal to feeling hungry. Portion your meals and have them on time.

  3. Workout for 30 minutes (minimum) daily. Not for a summer or bikini bod but for a long, healthy life.

  4. Your body is a temple and your mind its reigning deity. Monitor what you consume, both physically and emotionally. Don’t eat crap, don’t take crap. Don’t drown yourself in tears pitying your existence while gorging on unholy amounts of french fries.

  5. Socialise. Share your time. Share pieces of yourself. Allow kindred spirits to enter your life. Allow yourself to be treated the way you actually deserve to be. Look at yourself from someone’s else’s perspective. It’s okay to have some alone time and well defined personal space but it’s equally important to get out of your comfort zone too.

Better functioning adults than me, please feel free to add to the list. Let’s all lift each other. There’s enough in this world to pull us down. Always remember the words of one very wise, albeit forgetful, fish, “Just keep swimming!”

A Christmas Miracle

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And I was alone in a strange city

Scrolling through Insta stories

Living vicariously

Such happy, holiday pictures

What magnificent plans

Everyone had stepped out for Christmas

But that wasn’t meant for me

I snuggled further inside my blanket

Stretching my toes a tad

The night before Christmas

Would be the only miracle I had

I’ll wake up tomorrow morning with an unfilled stocking

No gift tucked under my pillow

And no screams of heady delight

But

I’ll be alright

Because the miracle of Christmas

Isn’t in the gifts, the tree or the plans

It’s the strength to wake up

On Christmas morning

Ready to face the world anew.

This Christmas let’s remember the ones without family, the ones away from home, the ones who can’t afford gifts, or even a makeshift home. To each and every one of you, I wish the very best. We’ll all get through it together, bit by bit. And always know that the doors to my home and heart are always open – if there’s anything you’re struggling with, please don’t hesitate to drop me a word at varnikajain92@gmail.com. I promise to listen, to love and to bring back a smile.

I hope you all have a very, merry Christmas!

Love,

Varnika

Dear Diary #1

Dear Diary,

Today I realised that it’s true – we teach others how to treat us by what we allow, what we stop and what we reinforce. So, I’m entrusting you with a few notes to remind me of this on the worst of days –

  • Roll your eyes generously
  • Take pride in putting your foot down – even stopping it, when required
  • Shamelessly create noise or a freaking furore when fools turn a deaf ear
  • Go bonkers! Often and enough

Remember, you are all you’ve got, you’ve got to watch out for yourself.

In the words of my all time favourite movie (which was, surprisingly better than the book!), The Help –

You is Smart,

You is Kind,

You is Important,

the help