Begin Again

Isn’t ‘new beginnings’ a redundancy?

Or do we all go around chasing old habits, places and people

Time and time again

Swimming in circles

Getting nowhere faster

Content with circuit being our lot?

I think next time

I’d just like to have a beginning

Period

No new beginnings

Begging to begin again

Of sunrises and sunsets

The rising sun brings with it

Hope and joy

A renewed vigour for life

Invincibility and motivation

As if you’re god’s favourite creation

And nothing, almost nothing, is out of your reach

The setting sun speaks to me

Of calm and peace

Of rest, overdue and well deserved

Of satisfaction and bliss

Of a day well lived

Of an evening well loved

And I go to bed content

In the certainty of another sun

Which soon shall rise again

Without fail

And bring with it

Hope and joy renewed

I dream of reality?

You ask me if I’m a dreamer or a realist

As if being either could define me in your eyes

Or being both at the same was incredulously impossible

No

I am a dreamer and a realist

For if you wouldn’t dare to dream

How could you possibly fathom the limits of your reality?

Of Resolutions and Resolves

I lost almost 25 kgs in 2020. More than that, and more importantly, I lost a lot of mental baggage too.

I feel lighter, fitter and healthier than I ever recall feeling.

I smile more widely and laugh more often. I sleep better and talk more politely. My patience and general well being have improved by leaps and bounds.

The only sad part is that it took a soul crunching, time stopping and all around jarring pandemic for me to pause and reset. To focus on and prioritise myself. To work through all the unresolved issues which were underlying the calm exterior I took pride in portraying. To actually process my feelings and emotions through healthy, conversation based and creative outlets.

So in 2021 the only resolution I am going to make is to choose myself. Love myself. Heal myself. Understand myself. Forgive myself. And to grow. To pause, when needed. To listen to myself. To pay attention to my own mind and body.

I hope you’ll be doing the same for yourself too. Because one off resolutions are like putting out small fires while an entire forest burns to ashes. The bigger picture, the important picture is always you and your life.

Yes, of course, set goals for yourself. But resolve to live happily and freely. And then test your resolve to its very limits….just to see it emerge stronger.

P.S. if you’re struggling and need a friend, I’m always ready to listen, chat and offer whatever assistance that’s possible from my end. I am not a proxy therapist, just a willing shoulder to lean on while you catch your breath 🙂

Language of the Universe

In a universe so infinite

Why would you want to love finitely?

Define yourself with numbers

Like scores, marks, weight, age, people?

Why limit your soul to one astral plane?

Why restrict your knowledge to only that which is defined?

What’s stopping you other than your own self-imposed boundaries?

Even if the universe were to be finite

Why couldn’t you live infinitely?

Or rather

Why shouldn’t you?

Even if the universe were finite

Go ahead and write your story

On every particle of it

20-21

This year has been different, to say the least. We lived through the most unexpected of times, witnessing the very highs and lows of humanity. We disbanded, came together, learned, unlearned and relearned quite a few things during the course of a year. Yet, each one of us, whether doing well or struggling has held out unwavering hope that the next year will bring better tidings.

So for this roller coaster ride called 2020, I have nothing but immense gratitude in my heart. I’ve charted quite a journey within and outside of myself. I feel more blessed than proud of this fact. I have lost, gained and regained a few people along the way. Some for life, invaluably cherished.

With 2021 begins a new chapter of life for me. A shared chapter. One full of hope, love and a sense of belonging. I am quite tickled to see where it will lead. I hope the very same for all of you.

Bring it on 2021, I’ll be doubly armed in my welcome 😊.

Tongue Tied

He wondered if I’d ever written something with him in mind

Confessing he’d been scouring for a piece of him in every word of my pieces

I could only smile and say no

Little could I tell him though

That his disappointment was misplaced

I yearned to tell him so

But I

I could never do justice to the embers he ignites within my soul

For I’d never be able to write anything for him

There just aren’t enough words

Or pages

Or lines good enough

To sum him up

So I write

Day and night

Of everything

But him

In the hope

He’d notice

That he has me tongue tied