That night there was a shattering silence
Broken by faltering sighs
Your halting words
Tried to appease fate
A little too less and a little to late
And smiling like a venomous snake
Doubt slithered inside the gate
And now
Tonight
There is a shattering silence
As you, alone, lay wide awake
And when you can feel the sum total of life
Enshrined in a single heartbeat
When you can feel the drumming of your heart
Thundering in your ears
Pulsing throughout
A blood fire raging within you
Bursting to be let out
And yet
And yet
There is a calmness in your being
Like finding eternal peace
That is the day, my dear
When you can wake up and proclaim
That you are truly, hopelessly in love
Anything else just feels
A lot like love
But
A whole lot less.
What if we ran out of conversations one day
You know, the ones that keep us hooked late into the night?
The ones that make me crack up in delight?
The ones that make you beam at my very sight?
Would the world as we know it, still feel right?
Would the past talks of our future still shine bright?
What if we ran out of conversations one day
Would you still find yourself heading my way?
Dear Diary,
Last night was a restless night. There was a hailstorm outside and a different kind of storm raging inside my room. As I tossed and turned to find enough comfort to drift into sleep, I remember myself thinking ‘if tomorrow never came, it‘d be okay’.
However, like most of my wishes, I woke up today into a new morning. Groggy at first and then suddenly wide awake, as if a switch had been flicked on. In that moment I recalled a line I’d re-read a hundred times while devouring John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars. It went something like this – I fell in love the way you fall asleep : slowly, and then all at once.
No sooner had this line crossed my mind than I was hit with a pang of regret. So sharp that I found it difficult to breathe. For you see, all my life I’ve known a sad fact. I’m easy to love but equally easy to fall out of love with as well. I’m instantly likeable but probably insufferable in the long run. Or so I’ve been made to think. By people. People whom I cared for, possibly more than myself. People whom I admired and adored. People whom I could never love. Never love the way I deserve to love. You know, the unconditional kind? The kind which makes even hearbreaks feel worthwhile? The kind that brings you joy and sorrow in equal amount? The kind that makes you feel alive?
Yes, I think I’d like to feel that love once. Not someone else’s for myself. But my own. And then, if tomorrow never came, I think it’d really be okay.
Aaj kuch aisi gaflat mein hai saansein humari
Kahin dil ki har ek hasrat mukammal na ho jaye
Wakt miley toh kal pooch lijiyega kaifiyat humari
Kahin aaj raat hum mustaqbil mein hi na kho jayein
And when I need shelter
From reality
Would you let me dip into
Your daydreams?
Dear Diary,
Today was an eventful day. Not in a way where a lot of things happened. But each one was more and more overwhelming.
A few hours in, and I couldn’t breathe. I was tired of running around in circles, trying to get everything done in time but getting nowhere. I forgot to take a breath! Or a break. I skipped lunch, as usual.
Then just when I had all but given up, staring blankly outside the window, the skies opened up and smiled. Have I ever told you about the magic of out-of-season rains?
They’re like little bursts of happiness, unexpected yet plenty. They are instant mood uplifters. You cannot help but smile as the first drop makes its way to the tip of your nose with a splat. They wash off all the grime, outside and within, and make you look at things anew.
The trees, the birds, the dogs and cats, all rejoice. And so, did I. I turned off my laptop, set aside my notebook, put my phone on silent and took a deep breath. I sat in silence with closed eyes, listening to the pitter patter and the thundering and rumbling outside.
And finally, I smiled. Because I decided to forgive myself today. I decided to apologize to myself today. I decided to love myself a little more today. So that I never forget to breathe again. So that I never forget it’ll all be okay in the end. So that I never forget to not always push myself too hard. So that I, can be just I..at times. So that the next time the magic of out-of-season rains find me, I’d be ready to welcome it with open arms.
Never ask a poet
To describe you in a few words
For you see
We begin from a blank canvas
And create the perfect masterpiece
With layers of paint and oil
Catching the light as it falls on your face
At different times of the day
We build for you a background
Your most natural habitat
And then rest you amidst it
In the most striking of poses
Till you and the canvas
Are one
Never ask a poet
To describe you in a few words
For we wouldn’t know where to begin
Because art can neither be rushed
Nor confined to a few strokes
And you, my dear
Are poetry
Art in its purest form
You said you’d be mine
When dreams came to life
So I
I blurred reality a little for you!
You saw me swaying yesterday
And looked at me askance
There’s no music, you said
And threw me a questioning glance
But darling I was dancing
To the tune of wind chimes
To the rustling of the leaves
To the songs of nightingales
And to the gushing of the wind
There was music all around me
In more forms than one
And we’d have been dancing together
If you’d just bothered to feel
This poem was inspired by a quote I’d come across as a kid –
A question which sometimes drives me hazy : am I or are the others crazy?
Albert Einstein
