Through My Eyes

I’ve never known beauty

As profound

As the raindrops wetting parched mud

As ink gushing out of a fountain pen’s nib

As a child’s laughter

As a mother’s heart

As a father’s embrace

As a brother’s banter

As a sister’s adoration

As love’s first moments shared in silence

As a bird’s chirping heralding a new day

As the twinkling of stars on a cloudless sky

As the sinking of sun across the shore

As your reflection beheld

In my teary eyes

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If you die of a broken heart

If you die once of a broken heart

Do you get two next time for a fresh start?

One to bear the trials and tribulations

Of this cruel world

And one, my dear

For you

To break all over again

Adam and Eve?

Buried in the depths

Of ancient memory

Lies a secret forbidden

Possibly long forgotten

More so for being

A gain ill-begotten

We hear murmurs of rumours still

Yet we brush them off

With a scoff

Unconvinced that they could ever apply to us

Yet history hath witnessed thus

Love does love pain beget

Which we shall always regret

So guard your heart

Chain it

Then padlock it

For there lies a secret

Buried deep in ancient memory

That even Adam had to give

A rib to be with Eve

Things I didn’t know I needed this summer

1.  To be loved

By ME. Discover my self again. Realise I’m a hoot with a heart. I spend so much time being hard on myself and finding faults or seeking to do better that I often forget I’m doing my best, I deserve some rest and it’s okay, IT IS OKAY, to not be perfect all of the time. More importantly, I need no one’s validation nor adulation to prove I am lovable. This summer I want me to be my favourite person to get to know and hang out with.

2.  Be free

Of my own expectations. The shackles holding me back are of my own mind’s construct. The disappointments I repeatedly face, are due to my own high bars. I need to take a step back, reassess my goals, breathe free and rise above. What I can dream today, I can achieve tomorrow. 

3.  Be mindful

More mindful. Of what I allow to touch my soul. Be it negativity, junk food, never-ending cheat days, toxic relationship, toxic masculinity. Nothing should have the power to steal the wind beneath my wings. I am what I allow myself to be. I allow what I feel for. What feels right. What makes me feel right, in mind and in body. Wellness over fitness, mindfulness over mental space. 

4.  Be greedy

To go for what I know I deserve and have earned. To not submit before others, to no longer bow or kowtow. To have no regard for what others will think of me. Need, yearn and pine for my heart’s deepest desire and then go ahead and grab it with both hands. Make no apologies, take no prisoners. I owe no one my successes, just like my failures are my own. 

5.  Be quiet

The world in technicolour is a loud, sleepless place. There’s no rest for the weary. A thousand things go on my mind at any given point of time. A hundred voices are aimed at me every second of every day. Some I agree with, most I don’t. Some make me shout, some scream, some screech and some cringe. But before giving in to my inner voice, I should take a pause. AND LISTEN. Not just hear. Imbibe. Understand what’s happening around me, where it’s stemming from and, more importantly, where it’s headed towards. Analyze. For a moment, just be quiet so I can be loved, free, mindful and greedy while happily co-existing. 

 

What did you not know you needed this summer? Tell me, I am listening. Try me, I will be mindful. Follow me, for I’ll let you partake of my greed, love yourself, as I am going to love us both.

Love Happens?

I’m the girl who wants to go short

When she has long hair

And desperately wishes for long hair

As soon as she chops them off

I’m the girl who wants tea

And coffee

Both

At the same time

Steaming hot

But blown cold with every sip

Buyer’s regret

After days of meticulous research and planning

The instant my card is swiped

Is a very real thing

I believe in loving yourself for who you are

Yet constantly striving to do so much better and bigger

I’m a proven juxtaposition

Of paradoxes

I am fire, I am snow

And you tell me

That love will just happen to me one day?

It’ll pop up like a jack-in-the-box and take me unawares?

It’ll grow on me when I least expect it?

It’ll reaffirm itself

When I see no scope for hope?

Ridiculous, isn’t it?

Because it doesn’t matter how you fall in love

It matters that you do

It doesn’t matter why you start to love

What matters is that it stays.