Ordeal by Innocence

The essence of innocence

was a memory long forgotten

wrought too soon

from a tender bosom

and trampled on the ground

Now the heart

and its matters

are a mere complication

for the eyes are cold

where souls are sold

with free and wilful abandon

blame

guilt

regret

and

penance

travel full circles

and caught in between

is a girl

or what’s left of her

tattered remains

 

 

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Liberated by Love

Born free

Browbeaten into submission

She vowed never to

Let another capture

Her freedom again.

Broken hearted 

With a wilted trust

She vowed never to

Let another capture

Her feelings again.

Plastering a smile and

Mastering her poise

She vowed

To be her own saviour.

Healing her scars

And fuelling her resolve

He stood beside her undaunted

So she finally vowed

To Tether her life

To the man who freed her soul. 

Do you think love ties you down or sets you free? Let me know in the comments section down below. I’d love to hear your views on this!

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The Magic We See

Softly humming while strumming his guitar,
He was oblivious to his voice
Plucking at the strings of her heart.
She took in the sight of him,
Like he was a cherub playing the harp.
Such were the emotions flickering in her eyes.
She watched in rapt attention,
Till he put away his instrument,

Pulling her out of her reverie.
When she finally heard him speak,
A crease marred the smoothness of her brow,
As she now took in the sourness of his tone.
It couldn’t be, it couldn’t be, she thought,
Recalling the heavenly baritone from a moment ago.
Then her eyes rested on the guitar case
And she came to understand that
The magic we sometimes think we see
Can just as easily be locked away in a chest.
Then she laughed and laughed
Till she could laugh no more
And realised why she’d always loved
A jack-in-the-box.

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Freedom of Choice

“I love you”, he used to say.

It’d make her squeal with glee.

Just the mere sound of his voice was enough,

To fill her with ecstasy.

Though once he knew he had her,

He took her only for granted.

He’d vanish without a word for months

While she bade her time and waited.

Yet, every time he’d come back to her

And she’d welcome him with open arms.

Because “I love you”, is what he’d say.

And for her that was enough.

Then time took its toll on her,

As the cycle repeated itself.

“I love you”, he said after pulling another Houdini.

He sounded bold and resolute,

Confident of her response.

Instead it made her Cringe and wince today,

Like a physical blow to the face.

Nothing he said could hide now

The hollowness of his heart.

So she kept the phone without a word,

Defeated by the truth

She had till now chosen not to embrace.

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Figures of Speech

Speak geek to me,

And see me light up brighter than a Christmas Tree.

Speak nerd to me,

And see me unravel the complexities of this universe.

Speak music to me,

And sway with me till hours are long forgotten.

Speak silence to me,

And see me reverberate in response with profound understanding.

Speak companionship and Commitment to me,

And I’ll show you how pulchritudinous life could be.

Speak sorrow to me,

And see me don a mantle to chase it all away.

Speak fear to me,

And see me sit with you through the darkest of nights.

Speak love to me,

And see me reciprocate in more than equal measure.

Just, speak to me, will you?

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Careless Whispers

Careless whispers make their way

from hushed undertones

to pen and Paper

written down in indelible ink

passed around without a word

back and forth they went

till every pair of eyes had seen

the scene that had unfolded yesternight

when she had given away her heart and more

wrapped in a neatly tied bow

to the one who decried her love today

with one fell sweep of pen and ink

and careless whispers

in tow.

 

 

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Mind and Body

So I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’ve been slightly busy with family engagements. However, today, during the midst of a family dinner, a thought struck my mind and I haven’t been able to shirk it off till now. So here I am, getting it all out.

As some of you might know, I was recently doing a regular feature on Mental Health Awareness. I discussed the importance of breaking the taboo surrounding such issues and to always get appropriate help in this regard. Then I proceeded to pen down my own interpretations of some mental health issues like depression, anxiety, self-doubt, Maladaptive Daydreaming. Today I realised how I missed out on a very important aspect of mental health. This is my rectification of the same.

This happens to be the physical aspect of mental health. No, no, hear me out. I get that common understanding dictates mental and physical health to be two different categories albeit that go hand in hand. What I’m trying to propose here is that they’re one and the same. You cannot have without the other. Hence, you need to strive to have both.

A case in point being my own journey in the past two years. Working long hours as a corporate lawyer takes its toll on not just your sleep, time and peace of mind but also your physical fitness. Most days I could not take out any time to eat and survived on black coffee. No meal was ever on schedule and we all know how harmful that could be. Late working hours also ensured that home cooked food became a luxury I could no longer afford. Ordering food to be delivered to my office became the go-to resort. Needless to say, all such food was very detrimental to health by virtue of being very heavy, oily, fried, unhygienic and nowhere near about fit for regular consumption.

Resultantly, I ended up gaining 20kgs. It didn’t help that I’m also short. Thus, there was nothing to prevent me from looking like a football. Thank god for gravity and friction or one strong kick would have had me rolling round the universe for eternity.

These two years have also been my lowest as far as mental health is considered.

Since the past six months, however, I’ve put my heart and soul into taking back control of my body. I’ve lost 12kgs and have 8 more to go. I feel fitter, lighter but most surprisingly, happier. My outlook has become more positive not just towards life but also things that invariably used to pull me down. So without even having to put an effort into bettering my mental health, improvements in my physical health led me to an unforeseen and way better emotional headspace.

Thus, I reiterate, even though mental and physical health go hand in hand, they’re not two sides of a coin. In essence, they’re much the same. A healthy mind would prefer to reside in a healthy body and make sure that happens. A healthy body will do all it takes to provide a mental workout to your mind. Either way, health will Triumph

It’s not mind over body, you all. Its mind and body. Be healthy, be happy, take back control of your lives and live long and prosper!

Also, if any of you need any motivation or tips to achieve fitness, mental or physical/mental and physical, I’m always available to help in any manner I can to the best of my ability. Please feel free to comment or drop a mail at varnikajain92@gmail.com. I promise to respond within a day with the best advise I can muster!

[P.S. – Wish me luck for the remaining 8kgs. A little support goes a long way 🙂 ]

If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?
Even if reality is full of hurt,

Where dreams turn dull and ambitions turn to dust.
If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

Even if you desperately need an escape

Because in this world there is no place for hope.
If you’re​ happy in a dream, does that count?

Even if you’ve lost track of the last time you smiled or had a hearty laugh

When the tears in your eye were only of pure joy.
If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

Even if the world around you pulls you into abject misery

Where men become beasts and lose all humanity.
If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

Even if you’ve lived through terrors untold

That no person should ever have to see.
If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

Even if you never want to wake up.
If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

Illusion

The downside of Walter Mitty (Mental Health Awareness #4)

We have all come to know and love the harrowed, milequetoast of a man by the name of Walter Mitty. Be it through Ben Stiller’s portrayal of him in the movie or through the written word of James Thurber, we have all taken an unusual amount of delight in his escapades from the real world, especially from the browbeating of his overbearing wife.
For the uninitiated, Walter Mitty was an avid daydreamer to the extent that he hallucinationed about his daydreams. From a war-time pilot, to a world renowned surgeon, to a roguishly carefree murderer, Walter Mitty became all, albeit in his own mind. He  took no time in creating an Imaginary, idealized, heroic persona of his meek self at the slightest of emotional triggers.

We have all laughed at his antics. We have also sympathised with the poor chap when he invariably got pulled out of his reveries just seconds before his moment of glory. Yet, behind this obsessive facet of the character lurks a deeper, important issue.

It is imperative to not overlook the fact that his daydreams were vivid with great detailing, idealized, to the extent that in them he became the exact opposite of himself, and, lastly, lengthy. Furthermore, on reading between the lines, it becomes quite easy to see that he was a depressed, lonely soul, isolated from most wordly and social interactions.

This isolation and substitution of social interactions with daydreams portraying a glorified sense of self is what I want to bring to your attention today. Coined as Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD), this mental illness has highly debilitating effects on sufferers. Spending hours at a stretch inside a dream, while real life continues, people ailing from MD lose their grasp on reality. While inside a dream, they are oblivious to the passage of time in the real world. They might also not be able to identify their emotional triggers and not be prepared to face them, thereby spiralling into dreams at the most unexpected of times. There have been instances of patients who’ve kept on walking till their feet bled because they’d started daydreaming and did not realise how long it had been. Thus, in effect, it is quite easy to lose oneself if you’re suffering from MD.

This is precisely why it is necessary to spread awareness about this Mental Health issue so that affected persons or their well-wishers can get the required help. I believe every person is beautiful in his or her own right and no one should have to feel so down in the dumps that they have to end up imagining a better version of themselves, a better life for themselves, better friends, better job, better everything rather than actually working towards it. Let us make sure no one gets subjected to such abject misery.

(This is post is a part of my regular feature on Mental Health Awareness. I have previously written on the importance of disseminating awareness on mental health issues here, on depression here, on anxiety here and on self doubt here. If you like and support my efforts in this venture, please share and spread the word. I shall be eternally grateful for this act of kindness on your part. Thank you 🙂 )

He said, she said.

He said, “I’ve never been asked out till now.”

She said, “Oh that needs to be rectified right now.”

She said, “So, will you go out with me?”

Perplexed, and taking it to be pity, he said, “Sure, let me know when you’re in my city.”

<

p style=”text-align:justify;”>Confused at such a cryptic response, she thought she did not stand a chance.
Angered at men pestering her, he said, “Use my name to ward off unwanted advances.”

Saddened at getting just the use of his name and not the man in question, she said to herself, “Maybe this is it, this is all I get”, and took no other chances.

One day, never having been in love before yet heartbroken by the world in a myriad ways, he said, “If only a girl would tell me, you know, I’d be the best guy out there for her!”

Holding him to his word and daring to take the plunge, she said, “I am here, you know, and you’re​ everywhere for me”.

Finally, he said, “I love you, undoubtedly and unconditionally”.

Softly, she added, “Irrevocably”.

There are ups and down, highs and lows, happiness and sadness, and then there’s them.

He says things that calm her fears. He says things that wipe her tears. He says her problems are his to bear.

She says he won’t ever have to be alone. She says after him there can be None. She says to her he is her home.

He said, she said and then there was love.