Diary Entry #1 : Apology

Tonight I just need someone to hold and to have. To share not just countless, endless conversations but also comfortable silences. Just your presence would have been enough. Your smiles, your expressions, your denial of how much you adored me.

Tonight, I’d give anything to sleep in your arms again. To turn back time to before I made that horrible mistake. To hear you say my name one more time. Not my real name. The goofy one that you came up with.

Tonight I’m left all alone. With an aching heart and eyes far from dry. All I have left of you are old chats. My finger hovers over your number. Itching to make that call which will never go through. My eyes fixate at the empty image icon on WhatsApp. Knowing that a hey will only ever get a single tick.

Tonight I’m reliving the past. Through our pictures together. Through your words. Through our fingers entwined. Through our smiles, free from beguile. I have never seen myself look happier than in those moments spent with you.

Tonight I am hurting. All over again.

Tonight I’m willing. For you to come back.