If you’ve grown up in the nineties, you could not possibly have missed watching the iconic, cult classic movie of our time – 10 Things I Hate About You. Apart from the fact that it is every girls go-to romcom and holds the distinct position of introducing the world to the wonders that are Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Julia Stiles, this movie is famous too for its sickeningly sweet dialogue in which the ever aloof, ever stony, ever not-mush, Julia Stiles expresses and accepts her love for Heath Ledger. To refresh your memory, here’s how it went –
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
What a brilliant way to hold you own while enumerating all the things you hate loving about a person.
So, taking inspiration from it today, I bring to you a method of getting over a broken heart or a bad breakup. Some of you might remember a previous post wherein I talked about the signs of a toxic relationship, how to identify them and then proceed to let go of any such mentally or physically abusive relationship (If not, please click here to read the post). Today, I feel like addressing the next step in the process. On how to move on with your life after the said relationship is over.
I’m sure each and every one of us finds the first few months in the aftermath of a failed relationship to be a painful time. However, the biggest challenge faced during this period is to not fall back into old ways. It is very easy, and understandable, to get back together with our exs. It is what you know. It is what is comfortable for you. It is what your life had been and it feels almost natural to be together. And yet, mostly all of us regret taking that step and making the wrong decision just to get our heart broken all over again. Sadly, by the same person once again. Do not beat yourself up about it though. I believe this tendency is quite akin to Stockholm syndrome where the victims of kidnappings end up developing sympathetic feelings towards their captors. This is true for all kinds of abuses too. Even a relationship that you had voluntarily entered into at one point of time.
Thus, it’s time to take a leaf out of Julia’s book. Make a list. Not only does making lists calm our nerves and gives us a sense of control, in this particular case, it can be quite cathartic. This list, however, will be an actual hate list. Sorry Julia, but your list has lived well past its expiry date. We’re over love now. Everything that has frustrated you beyond your limit, everything that broke you, everything that made you suffer and cry and everything that made you decide to leave should make its way on to your list.
And then, put that list up on your fridge. Look at it daily. Let it be a reminder of what you would have to endure if you make the folly of going back to your ex because, trust me darling, no one ever changes for good. Let the failed promise of your broken relationship give you a new lease of life.
When you’re finally able to trust yourself to think straight again rather than get swayed by your emotions, tear up that list. You’ve suffered a baptism by fire and succeeded. Now it’s upto you whether you want to be on friendly terms with your ex or not. Atleast you’d have the reassurance that your decision now would be based solely on what’s best for you.
I hope this helps you! If you do try it out, let me know how it went, please? Also, if you need help in making the list, let me know in the comments section down below and I’d post my own list for your benefit. Thank you for reading.